Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Random thoughts

Okay, so its been over half a year since I last blogged anything. I don't think that's terrible or a tragedy since few people if any will ever read this but in the interest of keeping it somewhat active, I'm sure I'll find something to rant about.

Many people know I'm a geek (I say it often enough). I own a 2007 Chevy Aveo 5 the cheap one. Its a decent car that has had the crap beaten out of it but it still runs after two accidents and over 120,000 miles so I can't complain. That and its a standard and gets awesome gas mileage.

For the fun of it, I decided to name it the "Little Blue Pirate" and because that's how our sense of humor goes, my wife and I decided once we'd paid it off to put some fierce pirate stickers on it. She saw these and I put them
on. Not exactly what you'd expect to see on a tiny little fuel efficient commuter vehicle, which pleased us to no end.

But as I said earlier, I'm a geek. That means I needed something to declare my geekiness to the world in as obvious and loud a fashion as
possible. If for no other reason than because its fun. So my beautiful bride came through again with this 'tribal Batman' symbol from Rad Dezignes. Actually, its the Nightwing symbol superimposed on the Batman symbol which really feeds my inner geek since Richard Grayson is now Batman. Well, for the time being anyway.

Anyhow, the thing is huge. Its meant for a laptop and
its like 22" x 8". I'm putting it on my hood.

She also found another pirate sticker of a skeletal pirate that we're going to put on the rear window. I've found a couple other pirate decals I want to put on.

I think this is the next pirate sticker I want. I like the swords.

That's about all for a rant today. Maybe I'll post more later.

"Later" being a relative term of course. ;)

Monday, January 25, 2010

Bullies and bullying

In the fine state of Massachusetts, we have a problem with bullies. Or so it would seem. In the past year, two children in western Massachusetts alone committed suicide as a result of being bullied. I heard a talk radio show speaking about it and there was much outrage about What Needs To Be Done and Who's Responsible. The usual suspects were trotted out: the parents, the school administration and the legislature and they are all at fault, but the proper response is not the one being discussed.

This 'disturbing trend' cannot be resolved by more Zero Tolerance regulations that do not work. This cannot be resolved by yet more legislation requiring more programs about bullying. These programs do not work; the bullies ignore them and those being bullied know the adults will never do anything about it. The parents can raise all the objections and call everyone they want to call but nothing will change.

Why? Because the problem is not the bullies; its the culture we've created for our children. Bullies always have and always will exist. We stand as good a chance of eliminating addictions as we do bullies. Its a personality trait and its part of human nature. What we've done by eliminating failing grades and forcing little league teams to not keep score and making everyone play is disable our children's ability to cope with adversity.

In the charge to protect our children from the disappointments we suffered as children, we are failing in our duties as parents. I was bullied as a child. Eventually, I struck back at some of the bullies but learned to tolerate others. I was encouraged by my father to stand up for myself, he didn't stand up for me because he knew that would only make things worse.

Think about that; you were a child so you know its true. These "Zero Tolerance" rules and ridiculous programs all hinge on the bullied child telling on the bully, which only arms the bully. You encourage a child to stand up for himself and your creating an adult. You coddle them and your maintaining a child.

It is the duty of the parents and schools to work together to produce productive members of society; adults capable of living and maintaining a career and a family. We are failing at that sacred charge. Every parent who calls the school to complain about a bully without first arming their child with the courage, strength and skills to stand up to that bully is a failed parent. Every school administration that holds assemblies telling the entire student body 'how to deal with a bully' is failing as administrators. Every administration that takes the stance of 'if you knew what that child was going through at home, you'd understand' is failing as an administration.

Bullies need to be dealt with directly and individually and most effectively by the person being bullied. It doesn't matter what the child is going through at home, that does not give them the right to take it out on others. Allowing that as an excuse does nothing to teach the child individual responsibility. Telling that to a parent only increases their sense of outrage. Telling a child they need to report bullying to an adult excuses them from dealing with their problem as an individual, absolving them of responsibility.

Bullies form important life lessons for a child; for the bully and the bullied.

For the bullied, it is at these young ages that a child learns to stand up for himself, to learn that by his own actions he can determine the outcome of a situation. It empowers him. He learns that he can, through force of will, have an affect on the world around him. It prevents him from meekly accepting the difficulties of life but facing them head-on. A child with such experience learns that he sets his own rules on acceptable behavior from those around him.

For the bullies, they learn there are consequences to their actions. They learn that just because they are bigger or stronger that they cannot do whatever they want. They learn that sometimes there is a price to be paid for what they think is simply just fun. They learn to empathize with others, especially if someone they picked on suddenly bloodies their nose.

I know, "you're advocating violence!" Yes, I am. In our interactions with others, there must be a common understanding of communication. Sometimes, that language is violence. Yes, we should always strive to avoid such conflict but neither should we shrink from it. Confrontations do not always mean violence, but everyone must be prepared for that if the situation requires it.

"But J, adults can always avoid violence."

No, not really. What Saddam Hussein did prior to being removed from office was bully the UN. The only response after years of his continued bullying was violence. He chose that response. Thankfully, President Bush had the testicular fortitude to do what was necessary when faced with a bully: call their bluff. Bloody their nose.

Without arming our children with the knowledge that there are consequences to our actions and that there are unpleasant tasks in life that need to be done, we are creating eternal children who will never be capable adults. These children will be the ones who look to others to lead them from the difficulties in their lives. These children will be dependent upon others to provide them with jobs and a sense of security. These children will not be leaders our nation will need in the future. They will not be representatives of the entrepreneurial spirit that enables the USA to be a world leader in innovation. They will not be willing to take the risks that reap great rewards in life. These children will be the future that results in the destruction of our great nation.

It is how we face adversity that defines the society we live in. Every one of us, every day faces these decisions and therefore defines our society. How we are perceived as individuals is determined by how we react to difficulties in our lives. The US as a nation would not be able to help our neighbors in Haiti if our military was not prepared, trained and equipped with the tools necessary to do so. We as individuals would not be able to assist our neighbors unless we too, are prepared, equipped and trained to do so.

The bullies in my life taught me that every situation requires a different solution. In some cases, I responded with violence, in others it wasn't necessary. What I learned is that bullies had no power over me unless I gave it to them. That lesson defined how I reacted to other struggles and adversities in my life.

We should be empowering our children. Bullies are not the problem, they're an opportunity for our children to learn vital life lessons. We should never let such opportunities pass us by.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Localities and Local issues

The town I live in is one of two currently being courted by Mohegan Sun for the building of a resort casino. We are also facing the possible closing of the middle school.

Who said local politics weren't fun?

On the school front, the superintendent of schools held an informational meeting with the town to illuminate the possible closing of the middle school, which would mean some 400 students would suddenly need to find space in either the already over-crowded high school or the already over-crowded elementary school. There are a number of problems, among which is that the superintendent is stating that they have no control over about 96% of their budget. These are fixed costs like utilities, busing, and Individual Education Plans for student requiring special care (which carries the weight of law in Massachusetts). The remaining 4% is discretionary funding which is books, papers, pens, pencils and other paraphernalia of learning. As a father of four children, I wonder at that number since I know we provide paper, pens and pencils and I've seen the same text books show up with child after child.

He is stating that the schools received a 58% cut in funding in total from the state in various ways. He was asked by the state education board to prepare four budgets: a level budget and budgets with a 5%, 10% and 15% cut in funding. He stated that the administration is not receiving any raises this year in an effort to mitigate the budget.

Good for them - I've gone without a raise for two years running and this year doesn't look good either. Pardon my lack of sympathy, but its about freaking time. Consider that last year the administration had an 8% pay raise if you average it out over all administrators and the year before was 10%. Even if I had gotten a raise I would have been lucky to see 3%. Boo freaking hoo for the administration.

The people of this community have been making do with less for years. I won't get into the national or state politics that caused that because that's not what this post is about. The end result is that since 2008 people in this community on average have not seen an increase in their income but have seen an increase in spending. Gas taxes have gone up. Sales taxes have gone up. The price for oil, gasoline and natural gas has gone up. The price for food has gone up. The price for clothing and other goods has gone up. That's not even talking about the credit card interests. I personally am facing possible foreclosure on my house and I still have a good paying job. That's mostly due to sudden emergency expenditures like an exploding boiler, a leaky roof, failed appliances and plumbing repairs that I did myself. We were unable to secure any loans other than for the boiler. Our credit cards have had the interest rates increased and the credit limits decreased. We are behind in all our debt. I haven't mentioned it because we're not alone, and we're better off than some if not most. I only mention this now because its about time the government in some way starts to feel the pinch.

There was no sympathy at all for what the schools were going through, only outrage. Outrage because we were led to believe that this would be a question and answer session where we would have the opportunity to discuss the issue. Outrage over the wisdom and safety concerns of placing ten and eleven year olds in the same building as seventeen and eighteen year olds within weeks of a report of a twelve year old getting raped by a seventeen year old. Outrage over the sense that no one in the school administration seems to feel anything about it at all; no concern, guilt, anger, humiliation or even frustration. A token attempt was made to place blame on the town government but everyone in the audience has been (or should be) aware that the town has been one step from bankruptcy for years now.

I fail to see how the school administrators can feel closing the school will do anything positive in regards to their budget. The bulk of their budget from their own numbers is spent on IEPs and other fixed costs which will not be affected by closing the school building. This has the feel of a scare tactic meant to panic the public, a public that is already stretched to the breaking point with tension, worry and very real fear. This was a bad move.

Now onto the casino! Free-flowing money, food, drinks and scantily clad beautiful women are what you think of when you hear casino. That's what the advertisers and the movies have drilled into our heads. A pseudo-classy world of fun and excitement and romance that could exist within our town borders. We are led to believe that having a billion dollar resort casino would bring much-needed jobs, traffic to area businesses and relief to the town coffers.

HA!

The area they want to put the casino in is across the street from the entrance to the Massachusetts Turnpike. This is a resort casino - a one-stop shop complete with restaurants, gas stations, stores and hotels so that casino patrons will never have to leave the casino for any reason whatsoever. So much for traffic to area businesses.

Casino jobs require training and experience that you really can't get anywhere else. Do you know all the rules of blackjack, five or seven card stud, 21, pitch and poker? Can you deal cards? Do you know how to run a high-tech security center? Are you familiar with the laws regarding gambling in Massachusetts? (Right now there's only one: its illegal but the current state legislature will change that and no doubt to the benefit of the casino that's lining their pockets) Can you spot someone cheating from across a crowded room or someone underage using a fake ID? Casino jobs involve very unique and particular skills. Jobs may end up coming to our area but not immediately and not high-paying ones. So much for much-needed jobs.

We live in a state that is notorious for raising taxes on businesses. So notorious that we've been hemorrhaging businesses and jobs for years. People have followed the jobs and left this state; we are one of I think five states to have actually seen a population decrease. Why would any business want to come to Massachusetts? Tax breaks. The governor wants to have state-run casinos, but if that were purely the case why would a casino spend the sort of cash that Mohegan Sun has spent courting my area and New Bedford? The answer is that they have to believe very strongly that they're going to get some sort of sweet-heart deal. Chances are that the state is going to give the casinos a bye on their taxes for a few years. The state is betting on making that up in other sources of revenue.

Silly state - don't you know better than to bet against a casino? The house ALWAYS wins in the long run.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Long time no blog

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a while. I have my reasons but I'm not sharing them. So there.