How did we get here?

Its an election year, which means that politics are front and center.  The situation in our nation has been gradually sliding around for the entire 20th century.  We've lost sight of some things that used to be considered values.  Here's a list of some things I think we'd do well to bring back.

Honor
We used to place value in our own name.  We would behave a certain way, work a certain way, in order to not dishonor our name.  Honor is something that has become twisted over time.  Every society defines honor differently.  Honor to me means doing everything you can to the best of your ability, placing others before yourself and serving them to the best of your ability.

Honor is sacrifice.

Honor is not killing someone else because they've insulted you.  An honorable man will take the insult in stride, recognizing that everyone has an opinion.  They will reply to the insult in varying degrees, depending upon the circumstances.  The rule to this response is that the response cannot exceed the initial insult.  If you insult me verbally, I cannot in honor respond to you in any way other than verbal.  If you push me physically, I will respond physically.  In legal terms this is called "due force".  You push me, I push you.  You try to hit me, I try to hit you.  You take a lethal action against me and I am free to respond lethally against you.

Honoring our first amendment (I did a post a while back about Paying the Bill of Rights and this ties into that) means that we will be insulted, offended and disgusted.  That is guaranteed.  Those who do so have a right to do so.  I have a right to insult, offend and make them disgusted in return.  I do not have a right to prevent them from expressing their opinion or limiting their Freedom of Speech in any way.  I do not have a right to take a verbal or written insult and respond physically.  Legal response is only an honorable choice if said insult or offense has wounded us in some way; either our reputation or financial situation.

Duty
Duty is an obligation that is imposed upon us.  It may or may not be voluntary.  I have a duty to my family; my wife and kids, my parents and siblings and other members of my extended family.  I also have a duty to my country: I once swore an oath to honor and defend the Constitution from all enemies foreign and domestic.

These duties mean placing others ahead of myself.  I feel a duty toward my fellow man, so I have at times endangered myself in an effort to aid them.  When I was in the Coast Guard we had a saying: you have to go out, you don't have to come back.  We were a service intended to save lives.  If that meant we died in the effort to save others, then that was the price required.  I have applied that to the rest of my life as well.

I place the needs of my family ahead of my own desires.  I place the needs of my friends ahead of my own.  I have in the past and will in the future given others food that I would have otherwise eaten.  I share freely of my time and talents.

Duty is sacrifice.

Selflessness
Its funny, when I start writing these rants I have a vague idea of what I want to say and everything else just sort of comes out.  The result is that, if I had to define how we arrived at the society we have it would be that we lost the sense of selflessness that we once prized so highly.  Both Honor and Duty are putting others ahead of ourselves which is a way of expressing selflessness.

Ironically, the selflessness of previous generations has created the selfishness of ours.  Most of my peers, and often me, think of life in terms of benefit and cost to ourselves.  "If I take this job, will it better my situation and that of my family?"  "I know water is better for me, but I really like soda."  "I want to be able to pay for my kids' education and give them a hand up that I never had."

Yes, that last one is selfish.  What does your child learn if you pay their bills for them?  Do they learn how to control and manage money?  Do they feel any investment in their education?  Will they apply themselves the same when they're not paying the bill for it?  History has shown us no.  Too many people in my generation and those following had no idea how to manage debt appropriately and got into trouble as a result.  Animal House had a joke that Bluto was in college for seven years.  That isn't a joke today: that's an average student.

The hardest lessons are the ones we learn the most from.  Giving your kids what you think is a hand up can really be a hand out.  I would rather give my kids a house when they get married than pay for their college.  I would rather take them to get a loan and insurance for their first car than purchase it.  Acquiring debt is unfortunately necessary in today's world.  Getting a loan for a car and college will teach my kids more than if I paid for them.  By the time they get married, they'll have already learned about how to manage money.  Purchasing them a house at that time will allow them to have more cash flow to pay off those debts.  They'll have learned how to care for things they own.  They'll have learned how to manage their cash flow.  The money pit that is home ownership would be easier for them to manage at that time.

And let's face it: if I can afford to buy them a house, it'll be a "fixer upper" that they'll be pouring money into anyway.

Tying it together
In the end, by learning to sacrifice and be selfless we would have greater empathy for others.  We would be more inclined to help others.  We would hopefully have acquired the necessary wisdom to know how best to help them up, not give them a hand out that benefits us more.

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for life."

That old saying is more valuable than many think.  It is easier for the giver to spend a few minutes giving a hand out than the hours it would take to teach a valuable skill.  Giving a hand out is selfish.  It satisfies our guilty conscience without inconveniencing us in any meaningful way while simultaneously not really solving any problems of the people we are pretending to help.

"How does this relate to politics?"

Glad you asked!  This nation is in dire straits.  Our economy is on the verge of collapse.  Enemies are knocking at the door.  Congress is filled with infants holding their breath rather than take the chance of listening to their political opposition.  A little more honor, duty, sacrifice and selflessness in our halls of government would change the direction we are headed in.  We would be once again the shining city on the hill.

Do not take the easy route.  Honor demands that we consider all options before us.  Duty demands that we take an active part in the political process.  We need to give up on the shorthand of political parties and listen to what the politicians say and see what they do.  Both sides are guilty of hypocrisy.  Who would be willing to reach across the aisle and find a solution that works for everyone?  Right now, the capitol is filled with corruption.  Both sides are beholden to special interests.  Don't chose the candidate beholden to the special interests you like, chose the one who will be willing to put aside their own interests and serve others.

After all, that's what they're really there for.

It has been a while since I've updated and the majority reason is that I've been concentrating on a job search.  They always say not to do this, but I've been doing what "they" say for a year and so far no dice and I'm pretty pissed off with the whole process by now.

"But what do you mean by 'this' J?  What are you going to do?"

I'm glad you asked dear reader.  I'm going to rant about the job search  process.  I follow the guidelines: I've cleaned up my online presence as much as I can and I always follow up each interview with a nice thank you note and a phone call.  I'm polite and professional in my appearance when I do get an interview.  But you want to know what pisses me off?

No call back.  Seriously, I've been on the other side of the table.  I know it can be hectic running a job search while trying to do your normally busy job.  I do.  I get it.  But if you've brought someone in for an interview, they deserve a response.  None of the interviews I've had in the past year have called me back.  Not a single one.  Only in two cases did I even 'officially' know I didn't get the job.  In once instance I knew at the second interview and in the other they actually picked up the phone when I called and to be honest I think it was because they were on the ride home and I called their cel-phone.

That's not right.  If someone comes in for an interview they deserve the courtesy of a phone call or email letting them know you passed them over at the very least.  Its rude.  These companies want us to play by the rules and be nice, they should too.

Which brings me to another rant.  Companies abuse their position.  They do.  We all know it.  We know why.  It makes sense, it really does but don't you dare let me hear you complaining about how an employee feels about the company when the company has proven they don't care about the employee.  This falls almost entirely on HR departments.

In addition to the no call back on an interview, I've also been offered a job reporting to the position I was applying for.  Someone needs to talk the the HR person and have them tell the interviewer that this is insulting and rude.  "I don't think you're right for the position, but how would you like to report to that position for much less money than what you were hoping to make?"  The response I want to make is "how would you like me to take a dump on your desk?"  I don't but that's because I'm professional enough to know not to.  What this tells me is that this company doesn't care about my perspective at all.  Likely they'll work me to the bone without any word of thanks.  This is the kind of boss that when you call in sick, they'll sigh and ask if you're sure you can't make it.  This is the kind of boss that will write down every little slight and you'll hear about it on your yearly review.  This the kind of boss I don't want.

When times are tough, companies try to get as much bang for their buck as they can.  That's understandable.  The laws of supply and demand are pretty clear and when you have three hundred applications to a position you can afford to be not only choosy but you know they'll be willing to take less money than what they might otherwise.  That's fine.  Do not complain about how no one has any corporate loyalty.  Don't dare.  We understand that you want the biggest bang for your buck but we also understand that the job market won't be in the toilet forever.  When it does turn around, we'll be looking for another job and when we find one, we'll take it and go.  Thank you for your time but here is an opportunity for me to make the money I should have been making.

Being thankful for a job is fine, but that doesn't mean I need to let my family starve or I need to live like a Spartan because the company took a chance on me.  Especially when the most I can hope for is a two to four percent raise.  A two percent raise when the yearly cost of living is three percent means I am losing one percent of my standard of living a year.  Do not act surprised if I go somewhere else that gets me a ten or twenty percent increase.  Do not be insulted.  Accept that I have needs and wants and that if I am not getting those needs and wants fulfilled I will go elsewhere. Its called "work life balance" and while for you fine folks in HR that's a buzzword you think means we want pizza parties and free soda (or pop) the reality is that if I'm not being taken care of at my current place of employment I will find another place that will take care of me.

Also understand that a four percent raise in my income can be eliminated by a five percent increase in my part of the benefits.  I once got a five percent raise at a company while they increased our cost of healthcare by ten percent.  You folks in the public sector can ignore this because the rest of us are picking up the cost that would normally get taken out of your paycheck.  You're welcome.  Given the differences between five percent of my income and ten percent of my heathcare cost, this amounted to a - you guessed it - two percent raise.  I did the math.  I hate math.  That's how mad I was.

We all know companies exist to make money.  Let me tell you my approach to both my job and my career:

My job is to make my boss look good.  If I'm not doing that, then my boss needs to talk to me about why I'm not doing it.  Typically, its happening because I do not have something I need.  Sometimes its due to circumstances beyond our control.  In both cases, I normally have already informed my boss of the situation if I know what it is.  Either way, a little discussion goes a long way to avoiding an adversarial atmosphere.

The company pays me to keep me away from my family.  The skills I bring to the table justify their paying me.  That's it.  I'm not saying I'm worth X dollar amount per year to feed my ego.  I'm saying that because that's how much I think my skills are worth.  I base that dollar amount on the going rates for people with my skill set based on location and industry.  From my perspective, that's not the value I place on my time away from my family.  That value drives me to earn the most I can.  So when someone offers me as much as 50% less for a job that reports to the job I applied for, its insulting.

We all have jobs.  We all place different values on those jobs.  We all know the economy sucks right now.  We all know the job search process sucks.  A little courtesy and looking at things from the other person's perspective makes a big difference.  That last interview has ruined any desire I might have to work for that company and definitely not for that person.  Companies would do well to remember that the interview process goes both ways: you're deciding if I'm the right fit for you and I'm deciding if you're the right fit for me.  90% of the time, we treat each other professionally.  Its that 10% that makes us insane.

Ten month update

Another long hiatus from the blog.  I apologize for that.  The job search has been rough.  I've been searching for a job, on average, about two to five hours a day.  I've been in contact with no less than five recruitment agencies and at least three independent recruiters not affiliated with an agency.  I've had three interviews.  Three.  That is downright depressing.  I don't know if its my resume (all recruiters I've spoken with about it said there's nothing wrong with it) or if they do a google search and find this fine blog and it somehow has pissed them off but either way I'm living in a state with an unemployment rate that's well below the national average and I can't seem to get an interview, let alone a job.  That has an impact on a person, from a self-respect and self-esteem point of view.  I've been fighting depression on and off the entire time.  My unemployment benefits end soon.  I think.  I got a weird message after my last call in then a letter with 'details about my case' that looks identical to the letter I got when I first signed up.  No explanation as to why I was receiving it.  *sigh*  Yet more frustrations in an already high stress and frustrating situation.

On the other hand, I have been doing a lot of volunteering for Pack N Pounce, helping friends and neighbors with various things and generally keeping busy.  At night, I've been writing.  I scrapped the web comic idea because it was way too time consuming with very little hope of a return on the investment.  I've successfully completed a novel of over 88,000 words and edited it and polished it.  I've started searching for an agent and I got my first rejection letter.  If J K Rowling got seven before successfully selling one of the best selling series of all time, then I figure I've got about 69 more to go at best.  I'm trying to keep my spirits up and my family has been helping me with that.

This past year has shown me how important family is.  I've been blessed with great parents, a wonderful wife and four awesome children.  I get along quite well with my in-laws who are great people.  As I mentioned earlier, I get along very well with Rick and Brenda and their kids (who are adults and the only family that's local).  My siblings and their families have been great.  I cannot express the gratitude I feel to all of these people for all the support they've given me during this tough time.  I love you all.

This is probably going to be my last post for some time.  I'm starting a blog about the background for the world setting that my novel (and several short stories) are set in.  It may help sell the book and even if it doesn't, it'll be great to have it all written out for me to refer to in my writing.